Friday, January 9, 2009

Buck Wolf’s Weird News Central: Crotch-Crushing Crime Wave

NEW YORK (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – Hey guys, cross your legs and listen up: There’s been a spree of crotch-crushing news.

In Deltona, Florida, a woman faces battery charges for biting her husband’s manhood. After a night of drinking, he wanted some oral sex and apparently, saying “No” just wasn’t enough.

In Portland, Oregon, an 88-year-old woman was surprised when a naked man broke into her home. Instead of running, she reached out, grabbed his thingy, and gave him the squeeze of a lifetime. He’s now behind bars – and very sore.

Then there’s the trial of Australia’s jealous wife, who caught her husband fooling around and set his man bits on fire in his sleep. A neighbor says the woman proclaimed, “His penis should belong to me!”

Buck Wolf, who features all the crotch-crushing madness on Weird News Central on, reflects, “It’s been 15 years since Lorena Bobbitt and the cut heard ’round the world, but even she’s doing well. She’s got a fiance.”

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