Monday, March 6, 2006

Lounge Singer Predicts Skyrocketing CD Sales Via Multiple Retirements

LAS VEGAS (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) - When it comes to picking songs for a greatest hits album, a Las Vegas musician who performs loungey renditions of punk, metal and rap songs has a very special method.

Crooner Richard Cheese says the process of song elimination for his new greatest hits CD, Sunny Side of the Moon, was “kind of like a dart game” and that the band “looked at all the songs that made people shocked or happy or excited and got rid of them,” leaving all the “crappy songs.”

Cheese says the “beauty of how talented I am is that the worst songs are still greatest hits,” including cheesy renditions of Korn’s “Freak On A Leash,” “Rape Me” by Nirvana and “Down With The Sickness” by Disturbed.

Rumors have been circulating that the singer is going into retirement, but Cheese admits, “This is the third time I’ve retired this month.”

He takes business cues from such musical greats as The Eagles and Cher and believes his CD sales will skyrocket if he continues to retire over and over.

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