Thats the satirical story from Wendy Molyneux, author of Everything Is Wrong With You: The Modern Womans Guide to Finding Self Confidence Through Self Loathing (TOW Books), a hilarious parody of the outrageous advice for women in self-help books, magazines, and daytime TV.
Molyneux devilishly addresses womens insecurities in passages like, You Look Terrible, and How Many Womens Brains Can Fit In One Mans Brain, but Molyneux isnt totally trashing the tabloids.
She says, Im definitely a consumer of this stuff, and a lot of self-help books have a core of truth, but most of its pretty hilarious.
And Molyneux hopes women use her social satire next time a guy gives them grief.
She says, I like the commercials where its like, If you use this tooth whitener, youll get a man. The real message should be if a guy doesnt want you because your teeth arent perfect, hes kind of a douchebag.
Everything Is Wrong With You hits shelves this Friday (Feb. 8).
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