Thats what Scottish author Alan Black found out when he moved to the States and began coaching a peewee soccer team, a hilarious and frustrating experience he recalls in his memoir Kick The Balls: An Offensive Suburban Odyssey (Hudson Street Press).
Upon meeting his team of eight-year-olds, he realized he had a bunch of crybabies on his hands.
His kickin kids were the worst team in the league and earned nicknames like Potted Plant and Def Not Beckham for their lack of soccer skills.
He says, A kid would get a little bang and wed have to stop the entire game. When I played soccer as a kid in Scotland, Id slice my leg open, put some grass on it to stop the bleeding, and keep playing!
The peewee parents werent any better.
They were constantly babying their kids during games and didnt understand Blacks coaching methods and desire to always win.
Black believes there were cultural rifts between himself and the team because soccer in Scotland is much different than in America.
Kick The Balls hits shelves in July.
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