Monday, March 28, 2005

George W. Bush Is Doing Nothing To Stop Monsters

PORT WASHINGTON, N.Y. (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – George W. Bush may be focusing on terrorism but he’s ignoring an even bigger problem – giant monster attacks.

That’s the shocking news from Louden Noxious, who represents Kaiju Big Battel, a supposedly clandestine organization set up to battle giant monsters like a blue alien named “Sky Deviler” and a giant soup can human hybrid called “Kung Fu Chicken Noodle.”

Noxious says there are 30 known monsters and many have been created by Dr. Cube, an evil genius he says is “hell bent on world domination,” and concedes the fact he’s “a deformed freak may have something to do with it.”

Currently, the monsters fight each other in competitions similar to pro wrestling and Noxious says cities like New York, Tokyo and Paris are at risk of being demolished.

Although the mainstream media has overlooked the monster problem, Noxious hopes to raise the issue with a new DVD, Kaiju Big Battel’s Shocking Truth, which he describes as “a docudrama.”

The DVD hits stores April 12, if the monsters don’t destroy the world first.

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