Thats the plight of UFO Phil, a man who claims hes been abducted by aliens thousands of times since 1972.
When he was a baby, extraterrestrials implanted a chip in Phils head that gave him musical abilities to pen songs like Martian Hunting Season and Dear George Lucas.
However, since aliens directly control Phils musical talents, he cant sing about anything other than their spacey messages.
Despite not being able to evolve as an artist, Phil is glad to have an in with good aliens, wholl save him when bad aliens invade Earth.
Since hes abducted several times a week, Phil has made friends with good aliens who cut him open and run tests on his body.
Though the procedures are painful, good aliens always have scones and coffee waiting for Phil in the operating room, unlike bad aliens who have their way with him but dont provide snacks.
(Contact numbers available only to subscribing media or trial media users. You can request samples at the Wireless Flash web site.)
Copyright © 2009 Wireless Flash News Inc. All rights reserved. Wireless Flash® and FlashNews® are registered trademarks of Wireless Flash News Inc.