Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Santa Beats Jesus In Fist Fight

NEW YORK (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – In a battle of brute holiday strength, St. Nick would wipe the floor with Jesus Christ.

Jesus may be the Savior and all, but he’s no match against Santa Claus according to Jake Kalish, author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium Of Imaginary Fights (Three Rivers Press).

Despite his jolliness, Kalish thinks Santa would beat Jesus in a fight, mainly because the Almighty would “insist on turning the other cheek.”

Adds Kalish: “It’s holy, but it’s a terrible fighting technique.”

Santa’s burly belly and arsenal of toy-making tools and gifts would make him “formidable in any fight.”

Kalish thinks The Grinch’s “aimless fury” would lead to a defeat should he go toe-to-toe with Kris Kringle.

However, if Santa got in Satan’s face all hell would break loose.

Kalish says, “Satan would win. He has a mob of greedy children that are disappointed with their Christmas presents to help him kill Santa.”

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