Authors Zach and Larry Arnstein have just penned The Ultimate Counterterrorist Home Companion: Six Incapacitating Holds Involving a Spatula and Other Ways to Protect Your Family (Santa Monica Press), a humorous book that mocks the War on Terror and gives paranoid pointers on how to avoid being a target of terrorism.
Along with using a kitchen spatula as a weapon against terrorists, building a moat around your home, and practicing family antiterrorism drills in your living room, the Arnsteins say the key to staying safe during these threatening times is to vary your daily routines as much as possible, including your work habits.
Says Larry: You must change up your routines so you dont become a walking advertisement for terror. This means taking a different route to work everyday and going into work at random times. Your boss will have to understand, otherwise you should question his motives, because he may be a terrorist in disguise.
Zack adds, Its all about being unpredictable, like eating your dessert before dinner and not staying in one place for too long. Im out of the country right now for that very reason.
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