Monday, December 11, 2006

‘Pubic Paparazzo’ Views Celebrity Private Parts

MINNEAPOLIS (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have been flashing their privates to photographers, but one “pubic paparazzo” is going a little deeper.

He calls himself the “Lone Nutter” and he claims he uses remote viewing to get an inside look at the genitals of Tom Cruise, Mariah Carey and Angelina Jolie.

The Nutter claims he recently “saw” Cruise aboard a yacht and says he heard Scientology officials tell the actor he had “gay” engrams in his prostate that prevented him from becoming “clear.”

He also says after getting up close and personal with Mariah Carey, it’s obvious she has fiber optic cables embedded in her pubic hair that allow her to control the world via her orgasms.

However, the scariest celebrity sex organs belong to Jolie, who the Nutter believes is the victim of a nefarious plot between Jennifer Aniston and a race of extraterrestrials.

It seems Aniston has ordered the aliens to implant her own ovum into Jolie’s fallopian tubes and the Nutter predicts the former Friends star will soon demand a DNA test to prove she’s the true mother of Shiloh, Jolie’s daughter with Brad Pitt.

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