Friday, October 16, 2009

Musician Slowly Poisons Audience

SAN FRANCISCO (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – One performer in San Francisco is into poisoning his audiences.

Andrew Goldfarb, aka The Slow Poisoner, brings back the tradition of old-timey snake oil sales with his one-man rock ’n’ roll band.

Goldfarb plays a kick drum, sleigh bells, a guitar shaped like a dying swan, and sings simultaneously – and pitches his miracle tonic between tunes to the huddled masses.

He’s been brewing his wonder serum in his bathroom for years and claims it’s effective in the treatment of elephantiasis, cholera, barnacles and boils, women’s troubles, wandering limbs, disinterested bladder, and stoutness.

Goldfarb assures that drinking an entire bottle of his tonic made him “twice the man I formally was,” though he recommends people take small doses daily to train their bodies to become impervious to poison.

The Slow Poisoner also hopes to “insidiously insert” himself into people’s minds with his music, though he admittedly sells more miracle tonic than CDs.

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