Thats one of the many hypothetical battle scenarios Jake Kalish considers in his book Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights (Three Rivers Press).
Kalish contemplates fake fights from He-Man vs. she- males and drunks vs. stoners, to the Stork vs. the Grim Reaper, weighing out who would lay a superior smackdown based on strengths, weaknesses, and other hilarious characteristics.
He says, I didnt want to discuss basic fights, like Kelly Clarkson vs. Carrie Underwood. I wanted to take things people dont think about, and make them fight.
Kalish says everyone talks about pretend punch-outs and he admits to putting himself in make-believe brawls regularly.
He says, I think about who I can beat up all the time. Im six-four, 230 pounds, but I dont exercise. I can probably beat up a hipster, since they weigh 130 pounds.
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