Monday, May 21, 2007

Energy Drink Could Give Paris Hilton Strength In Jail

HOLLYWOOD (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – Paris Hilton will need lots of energy to stay alert in the slammer this summer, and one energy drink promoter has just the juice to keep the heiress on her toes.

The drink is called – what else? – “Retard Strength” and promoter Jeff Weiss says it’s the perfect potion to make Paris think twice about her not-so-bright illegal infractions.

So, to help the socialite stay safe in the pen, Weiss is sending her an entire case of the stuff so she can remain vigilant and aware during her lockdown days.

Says Weiss: “Paris needs this drink to fight off the bigger girls in there. It will help her stay alert so that no one takes advantage of her.”

Although the slammer-bound debutante may be hesitant about sipping on the drink due to its controversial name, Weiss insists “Retard Strength” isn’t meant to offend.

He explains, “The drink is actually made by a man named Christopher who is a Special Olympics athlete and mentally challenged entrepreneur. If Paris and other celebrities drink it, they will actually be supporting retards.”

After pitching Paris the potion, Weiss hopes other starlets like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears will start drinking it too.

He adds, “The drink will help Lindsay and Britney stay awake during those long nights of partying. Plus, it tastes great with alcohol.”

(Contact numbers available only to subscribing media or trial media users. You can request samples at the Wireless Flash web site.)
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