Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Santa Claus Is Meant To Be Fat And Ugly

CHICAGO (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – Santa Claus is fat, wrinkly, and gray, just as he’s supposed to be.

Though St. Nick isn’t in the best shape for squeezing down chimneys, Chicago-based plastic surgeon Dr. Sam Speron says the jolly fat man is perfect just the way he is.

He says, “If Santa was thin and good-looking it would ruin Christmas. He’s meant to look like that. Kids relate to that look and it gives him a happy appearance.”

If Kris Kringle were looking to get a small nip and tuck, Dr. Speron offers some suggestions.

He says, “We could cure the Rosacea on his cheeks that makes them red and rosy with laser treatment. He’s also a bit on the larger side. We could do body contouring, from liposuction to lifting to give him a little more shape.”

Dr. Speron could also turn Mrs. Claus into a foxy cougar with lipo and a face-lift, which he says would “rekindle the romance” in the Christmas couple’s marriage.

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