According to New York-based bartender Brian McGrath, Santa has all the symptoms of a classic booze binger.
McGrath says letting yourself go is the No. 1 sign of someone whos suffering from alcoholism.
He believes this explains why jolly ol St. Nick never shaves and is always in the same outfit, Christmas after Christmas.
Although legend has it that Santas belly is a bowl full of jelly, McGrath laments that his pudge is really just a beer gut.
Santas jingling ride also indicates that hes a boozehound.
McGrath thinks the only reason Santa flies a sleigh is to avoid getting a DUI on the road.
However, McGraths main concern is St. Nicks womanizing ways.
He warns women not to mistake Santas ho ho ho chant for jolliness, as its really just his way of shouting drunken catcalls at them.
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