Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Minnesota Politician Admits He Sucks Blood

PRINCETON, Minn. (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – If you think politicians are evil bloodsuckers, then you might want to vote for Minnesota gubanatorial candidate Jonathan “the Impaler” Sharkey.

That’s because Sharkey is a self-admitted vampire who isn’t afraid to put curses or hexes on folks who he feels are trampling on the rights of others.

It sounds harsh, but Sharkey thinks his bloodsucking behavior puts him at an advantage over other politicians because, as he puts it, “Why be kind, civil, humane and caring to terrorists, child molesters or drunk drivers?”

Although Sharkey’s taste for human blood is attracting national attention, he promises he won’t be sucking on necks while on duty.

As he puts it, “feeding off women is like sleeping with them and can expose you to STDs and other problems.”

But even if he is elected as Minnesota governor, don’t expect him to stay long. Sharkey is also planning a run for the presidency in 2008, but says he’ll do more in two years than the last two governors have done in eight.

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