Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Shrink Gives The Straight Poop On Bathroom Behaviors

NEW YORK (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – A head shrink is using his expertise to analyze a different kind of head: the bathroom.

Psychotherapist Dr. Will Miller is an expert in bathroom behavior called “loo-ology” and claims he can determine which type of personality folks are in the can.

Dr. Miller says the “King of the Throne” personality uses his bathroom time to “get away from it all,” while the “Bathroom Businessman” gets in and out as soon as possible.

The “Lavatory Linguist” is a bathroom multi-tasker and usually takes his cell phone in with him.

Dr. Miller also believes people who are fussy about which direction the toilet paper hangs or if they catch a person who doesn’t replace the roll definitely has “control issues.”

Dr. Miller will be on the streets of New York today (Mar. 15) on behalf of Charmin MegaRoll, psycho-analyzing emotionally constipated citizens for free.

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