Furniture masterminds from the Rhode Island School of Design have been building feisty mechanical tables designed to battle in Table Fights actual brawls between furniture.
Co-creators Annie Evelyn and Shaun Bullens liken the furniture fisticuffs to a cock fight, and have seen tables use all sorts of dirty tactics to win.
Evelyn herself built a brawling table called Golden Flapper that would pee itself when scared, and has seen many tables go down after a beating from one called That F■cking Table, which is outfitted with a giant penis that shoots out hair conditioner.
Bullens says Table Fights are evolving into true, splinter throwing carnage and Evelyn hopes to have teams spring up in other colleges.
However, she worries that an MIT table might kill us all.
A Table Fights exposition brawl is going down this Thursday (May 21) at Voos Furniture in New York.
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