Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Wall Street Crooks Offered Ultimate Stimulus Package

NEW YORK (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – If Wall Street crooks want a bailout, they better be ready to drop their trousers.

Penis puppeteer Simon Morley is putting a prickly offer on the table to Wall Street and AIG execs looking for a handout, giving the greedy thieves a chance to join Puppetry of the Penis, an all-male review where dudes bend their wangs into different shapes for adoring crowds around the world.

Today (Apr. 14), Morley is holding auditions in New York and he promises to give laid off finance guys penile priority at the showcase since, “They need all the help they can get.”

However, Morley has some ulterior motives when it comes to the money grubbers’ stimulus package.

He explains, “We want to see them strip naked and parade them around for our amusement. It would really be a community service.”

According to Morley, the only thing wannabe wang wranglers need to score the gig is a sizeable instrument and, “complete lack of shame,” which the corporate bigwigs clearly already have.

(Contact numbers available only to subscribing media or trial media users. You can request samples at the Wireless Flash web site.)
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