According to hunting hound Ralph Turner, the tastiest turkeys are those that are hunted, not bought at the market.
However, hunting a turkey takes serious clenching of not only your gun, but your butt cheeks.
Turner says even a harmless fart can frighten fowl away and suggests all bird bandits hold it in while luring in turkeys.
In his best Elmer Fudd impression, advises prospective hunters to memorize this mantra: Be vewy, vewy quiet Im huntin turkey.
Turner says gobblers are very in-tune with their senses and their sight surpasses that of any other animal.
He warns that turkeys can see you from a half-mile away, even if its only the slight movement that comes from passing gas.
However, once the bird is killed, Turner gives permission for flatulent hunters to let em rip.
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