Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Survive The Apocalypse By Tricking God

CHICAGO (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – A scholar in Chicago has just the trick to get you into heaven.

Stephen T. Asma is a professor of religion and sciences at Columbia College, and says that when Armageddon strikes and God is choosing who will enter his kingdom, impersonating a more pious person can better your chances for entry through the pearly gates.

Asma says, “If you go by Western religion where God is all-knowing, you’re really screwed. It wouldn’t hurt to convert to a polytheist religion where there’s a lot of possibility for trickery since there are many Gods.”

Though Asma says sneaking into the sweet hereafter and continuing your heathen ways is “the sweetest deal,” the alternative to hell isn’t as hot.

Asma says, “Only a small group actually makes it to heaven, but they’re probably the more annoying people. You wouldn’t want to hang out with them anyway. All the cool, interesting people burn in hell.”

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