Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Fart For Your Country This Independence Day

CHESAPEAKE, Va. (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – Today is the Fourth Of July, and there will be some serious fireworks – coming out of your butt.

That’s the explosive news from gastroenterologist Dr. Patricia Raymond, who says traditional barbecue foods may leave you needing to free some farts this Independence Day.

According to Dr. Raymond, greasy grub like hot dogs and hamburgers will give you smelly gas, and adds, “anything with cabbage, like cole slaw, will kick your rump. And if you eat that three-bean salad, you’re doomed.”

To avoid gassy mishaps, Dr. Raymond says chomp on some grilled chicken and potato salad, but make sure the potatoes aren’t potent.

She explains, “If the potato salad has been baking in the sun all day, then you’ll get food poisoning, and you’ll wish you had gas.”

If you’ve absolutely got to let one go this Independence Day, you can be extra patriotic and time your toots to the fireworks finale, or be discreet, and not make a big stink about it.

She says, “If your great Aunt Edna bends over and rips one off, just remember she’s human, and everyone does it.”

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