Monday, June 25, 2007

Shock Rockers Have Plans For Celebrities

RICHMOND, Va. (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – One band of shock rockers have a vicious vendetta against some controversial celebrities.

Gwar are hardcore rockers whose obscene shows include mock decapitations, bestiality, and Satanism, but for their upcoming tour, the metal monsters have a few tricks up their sacreligous sleeves.

Singer Oderus Urungus says “All the people you want to die but can’t do anything about, like Paris Hilton, George W. Bush, and Michael Moore – we’ll kill them on stage. We’re like justice for the human race.”

But it’s not just celebrites that have to watch their heads.

Urungus says, “We spray hideous fluids on the crowd and feast on entrails. A Gwar show is only safe as long as you don’t mind being fed up on drugs and getting your head ripped off.”

But if you happen to catch Urungus on a day off, you may see a slightly different beast.

Urungus says, “On days off I take drugs and play shuffleboard.”

Gwar’s reign of terror on the Sounds of the Underground Tour begins July 2nd.

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