Harry Chapins Cats In The Cradle is a timeless Dad-dud, with a cruel, sarcastic chorus: When you coming home, Dad? I dont know when/ Well get together then, Son you know well have a good time then.
Dont begin Pops Sunday with the Doors The End, either even Oedipus would agree that Father? Yes, son?/ I want to kill you is lame for the big guys big day.
And though hes Neil Young, skip his ballad Old Man, unless you want Dad to think it Doesnt mean that much to me, to mean that much to you.
Gen X dads might dig Pearl Jam, but Alive is a buzzkill for any father, with Eddie Vedder growling that What you thought was your daddy, was nothing but a [garbled expletive].
Alt-rockers also should steer clear of Everclears Father of Mine refrain: My daddy gave me a name/ Then he walked away.
Finally, Madonnas Papa Dont Preach will get you in trouble deep and Eminems Daddy, Dont Go guarantees Dads dysfunctional holiday, as Slim Shady sloppily rhymes:
Now you know that I really hate you/ I wish I could shoot you.
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