Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Lack Of A ‘Porn-Stache’ Killed Plummer’s Super Bowl Dreams

WASHINGTON (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – Samson lost his strength when he cut his hair, and Jake Plummer lost the AFC championship by shaving off his “porn-stache.”

At least that’s the theory of mustache maniac Chris Chase, who has been trying to get the Denver Broncos quarterback to grow back his Ron Jeremy-like stache since he shaved it off two games into the season.

Although Plummer did grow a bushy mountain man beard during the season, Chase believes the “porn-stache” was the true source of his power, as well as a perfect facial representation of his risk-taking style.

As he puts it, “A bearded Jake is 0-1 in the AFC, but a mustachioed Jake never had the chance.”

Chase figures Plummer has the next nine months to think about the damage he did by selfishly shaving off the “porn- stache” and says the fact that the two coaches of the Super Bowl teams – Seattle Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren and Pittsburgh Steelers coach Bill Cowher – both have moustaches is no coincidence.

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