According to Meme Roth, president of National Action Against Obesity, Santa is probably a lousy lover because hes so fat.
Roth says St. Nicks belly full of jelly could lead to health troubles, including high estrogen levels, man boobs, and a low libido.
Since Santa is swimming in estrogen hes prone to hot flashes and also lacks energy, which sucks for Mrs. Claus.
Says Roth: Id say shes getting the shaft, but thats probably not the case.
Kris Kringles performance issues dont stop at the bedroom.
Roth believes theres no way Santa has enough stamina to keep delivering toys to children around the world.
If he remains morbidly obese, hell become chronically ill or die.
Roth says kids can help St. Nick battle the bulge by leaving healthier snacks out on Christmas Eve (Dec. 24), like water instead of milk and veggies and chicken instead of cookies.
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