Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Robert Pattinson’s Nipples Can Be Fixed

ORLANDO, Fla. (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – Twilight heartthrob Robert Pattinson has grossly uneven nipples, but there is a permanent solution to his problem.

Melany Whitney specializes in “areola restoration” makeup.

Using special tools and pigments, she can permanently tattoo textured, realistic nipples on anyone’s chest, from breast cancer survivors to men.

Although Robert Pattinson’s nipples appear pretty distorted in a shirtless scene in New Moon, Whitney can fix them so they’re perfectly symmetrical – what every man secretly wants.

She’s dealt with many males who yearn to make their tiny nipples look larger.

Their disproportionate nips cause “social trauma,” and some are even embarrassed to take off their shirts around others.

Whitney says men’s chests are as important to them as their penises, they just never talk about their nipple complex.

With careful shading techniques, she could make R- Patz’s tinier nipple look normal again.

The procedure would show nipple-challenged men that even perfect pop icons need a little help.

(Contact numbers available only to subscribing media or trial media users. You can request samples at the Wireless Flash web site.)
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