Wednesday, January 21, 2009


Masturbation Gets Virtually Real

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – Masturbation is getting a virtual revamp, and the self-love has never felt so real.

The Real Touch is a masturbatory device designed for men that simulates sex by syncing itself to online porn flicks.

The device connects to a computer via a USB cable, and then horny dudes stick their wangs into the contraption, feeling every movement the porn star on their screen is doing.

Spokesperson Jim McAnally explains, “It’s like getting with a porn star without actually being with her. You feel the motion, direction, intensity, moisture, and temperature of a woman.”

McAnally says the sex machine is guaranteed to get a guy off, adding, “The record here in our offices is seven minutes, so it must be pretty doggone good.”

McAnally assures that the Real Touch will even make the ladies envious.

He says, “Most women want to buy one for their boyfriends and husbands, or they wish they were equipped to be able to use one themselves.”

(Contact numbers available only to subscribing media or trial media users. You can request samples at the Wireless Flash web site.)
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