Michael Sykes, President of The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette, has a few turd tips for those uncomfortable dumping dilemmas.
For starters, he advises, Nobody is fooled by running water to cover sounds. If youre running water, then you better come out soaking wet. Turn the fan on instead.
Another giveaway that youre dropping the kids off at the pool is staying in the John too long, so only go when your bowels are about to burst.
Sykes says this rule is important for men because, We cant say we were in there putting on makeup or untangling our outfits.
Finally, he urges public poopers to avoid double flushing at all costs.
As he puts it, The double flush suggests that youre taking a massive dump.
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