Larry and Zach Arnstein are the authors of The Ultimate Counterterrorist Home Companion: Six Incapacitating Holds Involving a Spatula and Other Ways to Protect Your Family (Santa Monica Press), a humorous handbook that mocks the War on Terror and gives paranoid pointers on avoiding being a terrorist target.
And with Christmas around the corner, the Arnsteins say you may be in for some tinsel terrorism.
Larry says, The holidays are full of threats. Shepherds, elves, angels none of them have gone through security. Everyone entering your house should go through a metal detector, including anyone coming in through the chimney. Jesus is off the hook, but any of his henchmen are up for scrutiny.
To keep your home safe from any Christmas catastrophes, Larry advises fortifying your yard with land mines and building a moat full of hungry alligators, and of course, not falling victim to the holiday sharing spirit.
He says, Giving a gift is a highly suspicious activity. You never know who in your family could be a terrorist.
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