Monday, November 27, 2006

Woman Demands: ‘No Holiday Letters – Ever!’

GENEVA, Ill. (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – A woman in Geneva, Illinois, is on a mission to save humanity – by banning holiday brag letters.

Her name is Mary Brown and she’s blue about all those letters that arrive every Christmas that tell the finer points about the lives of her friends and family.

As she puts it, “If Hell has seven levels, these rank at level five or six. Either they brag about Buffy making the cheerleader squad or complain about Grandpa’s bout with toenail fungus.”

Other things she hates is when the holiday letters are supposedly written by the family dog or “when there’s only a photo of kids I can’t recognize, instead of the people I might actually know.”

If you do insist on sending out those holiday catch-up letters, at least make them titillating. Brown says it’s better to talk about your hobby of collecting vintage porn than about your love of model railroads.

Finally, Brown says it’s best to write as little as possible about your kids because, she points out, “No one cares about your kids. They only care about their kids.”

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