Wednesday, August 3, 2005

Impalement Artist’ Looking For a New Gal

NEW YORK (Wireless Flash - FlashNews) – A professional knife thrower just lost one of his assistants, and he’s looking for a replacement.

The Reverend Dr. David Adamovich – better known as The Great Throwdini – insists he lost his sidekick Katya “to circumstances, not knives,” explaining she had to leave for school in Europe.

This ordained minister-slash-knife wielder hopes he’ll be able to find another assistant who likes to have multiple knives thrown at her and can withstand a little pain.

He says the knives sometimes bounce off the boards and roll onto the body at a speed of 30 mph and adds, “I’ve hit Katya in the tit a couple times. Can you imagine getting whacked in the boob like that? It doesn’t tickle.”

Throwdini says besides that, there have only been “superficial scrapes” on arms and legs and that he’s never impaled anyone with a knife.

Still, he admits it will be hard to find a good woman willing to be his assistant because of his profession’s official job title: Impalement Artist.

As he puts it, “Geez, couldn’t they think of a better name?”

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