Real Life Vampire To Run For President In 2012

Real life vampire Jonathon `The Impaler' Sharkey plans to run for president of the United States in 2012. Even as commander-in-chief, Sharkey says he'll still feed on human blood.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010 1:27 GMT

Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey is a real life sanguinarian vampire who’s running for president of the U.S. in 2012.

Through his candidacy, the Republican – who claims he regularly “feeds” on human blood – hopes to educate the public on vampires, who are much different than those depicted in Twilight.

If elected, Sharkey plans to continue practicing vampirism as commander-in-chief, sucking blood and proving that vampires can survive the sunlight.

Moreover, his first order of business as president will be to bring impalement back as a legal form of punishment against criminals like Osama Bin Laden and his own personal enemies, including his half-sister.

Sharkey says he’ll gladly do the dirty work himself as prez and impale people with his bare hands.

His new documentary, The True Impaler: Redemption!, out later this year, explains his presidential plans in detail and also follows his side-gig as a pro wrestler.